In recent years, the idea of “women supporting women” has gained a significant amount of traction. At its core, it’s a beautiful concept: empowering each other, building networks, and celebrating the achievements of women across industries. However, beneath this empowering slogan, an often-overlooked issue has begun to emerge: women perpetuating the same exploitative systems in professional environments as men, especially when it comes to issues of fair pay, ethical agreements, and compensation for labor.
While the intention might not be malicious, the reality is that many women, particularly those in leadership positions or in entrepreneurial spaces, are unknowingly—or sometimes knowingly—creating an environment where other women are expected to work for free, accept below-market rates, or deal with unfair contractual agreements in the name of “visibility” or “networking opportunities.”
In this blog post, I’ll explore how this happens, why it’s problematic, and what we, as women, can do to create a culture of fair pay, respect, and ethical professional partnerships.
The Cycle of Exploitation
For centuries, women have faced systemic barriers in the workforce, from wage gaps to limited career advancement. As women rise to positions of power, it’s natural for them to want to bring other women up with them, to break the cycle of exclusion that has defined so much of professional history. But there is a dangerous undercurrent in this well-meaning movement: a tendency to perpetuate the very exploitation we’ve experienced. The idea that women should always support each other—without questioning whether that support is equitable—can sometimes create an atmosphere of exploitation.
The Invisible “Invisible Labor”
Invisible labor is one of the most insidious ways that women unknowingly perpetuate an exploitative atmosphere. For example, women often get asked to speak at conferences, workshops, or panels, with promises of “visibility” or “networking opportunities” instead of actual compensation. The idea is that the exposure will open doors, leading to future paid opportunities. But in reality, many women who find themselves in this position may be taking time away from their paying jobs, personal life, and families, and they often don’t see any tangible return on their investment.
The same issue occurs in entrepreneurial circles. Women are asked to collaborate on projects, create content, or share their expertise, with the promise that it will “help get their name out there.” It’s important to acknowledge that visibility is valuable. However, visibility does not pay the bills. This kind of dynamic often results in women putting in hours of unpaid labor, which is a form of exploitation, even if it’s not done with ill intent.
“The idea that women should always support each other—without questioning whether that support is equitable—can sometimes create an atmosphere of exploitation.”
The “Women Supporting Women” Paradox
On the surface, many women in business, leadership, or creative spaces genuinely want to support other women. The concept of “women supporting women” is inherently positive and important. Yet, when the conversation shifts to the topic of budgets, compensation, and agreements, things start to feel uncomfortable. It’s often in these moments that the true colors of a professional relationship are revealed.
A lot of times, women who are in positions to hire, collaborate, or offer speaking engagements may not have malicious intentions, but they may fall into the same traps that men have historically used. They might ask women to work for less than their worth, or even for free, under the guise of “mutual benefit” or “shared goals.” But this only creates a culture where women are undervalued in ways that mirror the sexist structures we’ve fought against for decades.
For instance, consider a woman entrepreneur who offers a business opportunity to another woman, but when it comes time to discuss compensation, she tries to negotiate a lower rate or suggests that “exposure” is payment enough. While the language might be cloaked in kindness or understanding, the result is the same: the woman entrepreneur is still perpetuating a culture of underpaid labor.
Similarly, women who organize events, conferences, or even online platforms might find themselves asking for help from other women in their network without offering fair compensation. The promise of visibility or “gaining experience” might seem generous at first, but these promises often end up being empty. It’s crucial to recognize that when budgets and compensation are neglected, the culture of exploitation isn’t just limited to men; women too can be the ones perpetuating it, even with the best of intentions.
The Need for a New Standard
So, what do we do to change this dynamic? How can we create a professional culture that doesn’t just look good on paper, but is rooted in fairness and equity?
First and foremost, we need to set a new standard for ourselves and for the women we engage with professionally. Women who are in positions of power must recognize that we are not exempt from holding each other to higher ethical standards. We need to create an environment where paying fair wages, offering reasonable compensation, and respecting one another’s time and talents are non-negotiable. This standard should be the baseline—not the exception.
When entering professional relationships, whether as a collaborator, speaker, consultant, or employee, we must prioritize transparency, open communication, and mutual respect. The assumption that “women will understand” should not be a loophole for undervaluing someone’s work or time. It’s important to address compensation upfront and avoid letting personal connections obscure business realities.
Fairly Structuring Partnerships and Agreements
There are practical steps that women can take to ensure that their professional relationships are rooted in fairness:
- Define Compensation Upfront: Whether it’s for a speaking engagement, a collaborative project, or a business partnership, always discuss compensation from the start. Don’t wait until the last minute or assume that the “exposure” will be enough to make up for a lack of payment. Define clear, mutually agreed-upon terms from the beginning.
- Offer Tiered Compensation Options: If working with other women and you want to offer flexible arrangements, consider tiered compensation based on experience or the scale of the engagement. For example, a seasoned speaker might command a higher fee than someone just starting out. The key is that no one should be expected to work for free, even if they’re part of a larger “supportive” network.
- Get It in Writing: It can be uncomfortable, especially when you want to collaborate with people you respect, but contracts are vital. Always have an agreement in place that clearly outlines expectations, deliverables, timelines, and compensation. This helps protect both parties from potential misunderstandings.
- Respect Time and Labor: Understand that women’s time is valuable. Just as you would expect compensation for your work, others should receive fair pay as well. If you cannot afford to pay someone, be transparent about that and offer alternatives, such as cross-promotion or shared visibility, that are clearly valuable in tangible ways. Do not agree to pay someone if you do not actually have the funds or are waiting to receiving funding.
- Promote Equal Pay for Equal Work: Advocate for pay equity across the board. Whether you’re an employer, contractor, or freelancer, make it a point to advocate for fair pay for all women, regardless of experience or position.
A Culture of Fair Pay and Ethical Professionalism
As women, we have a unique opportunity to set the standard for how we engage in professional relationships. It’s time to look beyond surface-level empowerment and focus on creating an environment that genuinely values women’s time, effort, and expertise. We must challenge ourselves and others to build a culture of fair pay, respect, and equality. This doesn’t just benefit women—it benefits the entire ecosystem of professional growth and development.
When we hold ourselves to the highest standard, not only will we create a more ethical and sustainable professional culture, but we will also pave the way for future generations of women to thrive without sacrificing their worth. Let’s make sure that when we say we support each other, we do so in a way that truly honors and compensates the labor, time, and expertise that each of us brings to the table.
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